i just want to be alone with myself
and hide under the water like its a coat
its so cold, i’m a ghost
you cannot see me, it’s so freeing

to be without the urgency to be

inside of my home where i’m most comfortable
i walk around naked just to feel something

no shoes, no shirt, nobody cares
if at the end of the day i am still here

i find myself getting angry with the notion
that i have to live another sixty years with this weight on my chest
my family is dead, and my friends are for nothing
but to pass the time until i’m in a better place

under this water i almost feel like everything could be okay
but i’m actually feeling pretty suicidal today
so i’ll keep dreaming about living like i’m deceased
then i won’t have to feel anything


from so ready to close my eyes, released November 25, 2016



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